Burning Love notes...

Dear Adored,

After every season, I hang on to the emblems that jog memory of your empathetic and yet dejected ways. At the cusp of movement, I reach into the forgotten drawer where you leave your notes and letters that contain the manner of your leaking posture of which I have long forgotten.

In keeping with the change of season, I reach for the torch that sets fire to my endless tears of the distant howl. Progressively he destroys the irrelevant and nostalgic thoughts that are cemented in the, now, burning letters. One after another, each letter and then each word disappear with the fiery black smoke that hovers over the ardent embers.

The ashes pile and leave a blank and hopeful remain. One word left untouched that I now keep close to my soul with a renewed compassion to seek once more the expression of affection. That "love" remains in the murky collapse of pain.

Love,
Alex

Alone at a Crossroads...

Dear Indecision,

A swelling excitement accompanied by the fear of what if?

An urge to move forward followed by the cemented hold on

A decision made and then a decision unmade

The fresh air of relief pressured by the voice of no return.

Stuck in the mud hole of Will I? Wont I?

Forced to sit in unbelief and stillness

Until a time where my feet again make friends with the wind

and we two, we too, are able to flow smoothly along life’s intricate unknown paths.

You think you are so tricky but I have you figured out,

Alex

Dont you remember???

dear Brian

remember when we were hanging out? yea...youre smart.

cool
alex

44....

Dear One,

I've learned to take sleep as it comes and never resist the sleepy eyes that stay open from fear of ending an imperfect day. So in the quiet hours of the night when the day is gone and everyone else sleeps peacefully, I lay awake writing words in my head to give my heart a voice. I slowly and remorsefully review the words of Tennyson and Butler and diverge every expression of “love lost” and “unrequited love.” Now, I am grateful for the night because without the revealing light of day I am able to release the pressure behind my eyes that builds with the tenderness that reminds me of my thoughts.

My heart physically hurts. Good or bad, I am pained with a unrelenting want to hear you, see you, and breath the same air. My heart quivers and pains and my face becomes flush as a heat of uncomfortable annoyance comes over me. I leave the world for a moment and watch myself as an observer only. I see myself loose grip of any hope to connect as the vengeful beat of every love song drums on. The lyrical battalion of blame, fault, and hurt lay within the melody of this melting possession. With each measure my teeth grind out an even smile and my eyes fight to stay dry and emotionless as the notes fall slowly and arbitrarily to the floor. On the floor, alone, each loose their beautiful tone once accompanied by a beautiful harmony.

In a day when the clouds broke into the shape of a perfect heart letting the sunlight warm my lonely soul, I was at last in the presence of hope. But now so suddenly I am banished back to the chambers where the clouds linger waiting to drop their acidic rain on my ever-weak skin. Shrinking into my own grief, I pull the covers over my head and listen to the pitter patter of the rain as it hits the expensive thread-count of a man who once stood tall and confident through the rain’s repetitive beating. I remember when it rained. Must it rain again? This time, may I perish with the rain?

 

Forty Four times four,

Alex

Breaking Glass...

Dear Anger,

I felt you today. I’ve never thought of myself as an angry person but today I feel anger. Not the ticked of feeling when a dog won’t stop yapping or someone honks at you as they give you the bird- this was louder. I was sure that I wasn’t upset over burning my toast or being rained out of a swim day- this smelled different. I wasn’t just mad because I stubbed my toe or someone called me a name -a much deeper pain rang in my soul. With a swipe of my hand, I caused destruction worthy of the news and the aftermath still ravishes casualties of a room that now smells like the ash of rebellion. I assure you that you were present with me today because instead of whispering I belted the word three times seven.

As I look at things destroyed, I am still grieved over the emotion that invited you. They were right: [You] never solved anything......but now I KNOW.

Clean up your Mess!

Alex Trost

less than a month...

Dear Birthday Santa, 

I was putting together a Birthday list and then I decided that since my wish list all came from the same place just get me this:

Ya that will be just great, 

Alex

Don't you give up...

Dear Elder Holland, 

You are a good man! 

Thank you for this,

Alex Trost

A few questions for the man, who delivers the snow...

Dear Direction, 

The other day I took my first run of the year, out in the tundra. The weather wasn't nice yet but the snow had begun to melt a great deal because it was considerably warmer. My run was almost done when I came to a block in my path. A giant, frozen, pile of snow where the shovels had stopped removing snow for a long time.

 

I looked ahead and could see that the path continued on the other side but instead of making my way over or around the problem I stood and stared at it for a long duration. Everything around it seemed so beautiful and the evening sunset beaconed me to continue in the direction of the sun. 

After what seemed like forever I kicked the pile of ice, sending glistening shards into the air. Upset and discouraged, I turned around and walked back the way I came.

Was the snow supposed to be there?  Was I meant to change directions? Should I be use to the cold by now?

Thanks for your time, 

Alex

Running down.

 

Letter to the rain, 

Tell me what you want to hear. Do you hear my inner voice burning out as you snuff my already struggling candle? Is it suffocation that you enjoy? Or is it the chaos and confusion that supplies the water for a night of treachery? In an instant you have me putting on my coat and then the next taking it off again. I am at a loss and it wont stop raining. The cold drops of ice have left me numb and unable to care. Thus, I am left only to....

 

remember that it rained.

 

Numbly yours, 

Alex

Who do you think you are?? Mark Twain?

Dear Readers and Scholars, 

I just finished a Fantastic American novel that has been in the headlines these days because of its use of racial terms. There has even been a new version published with the word "niger" replaced with "slave," how is that any better? By changing this book you are altering a true depiction of American history. This is dishonest and more immoral than the use of racial slurs. T.S. Eliot called it a masterpiece, and Ernest Hemingway pronounced it the source of "all modern American literature." I agree that Twain did a great job with this work and think it should be left alone!

My Best, 

Alex Trost  

Florida, flower, flomingo, flowheeler, flowin...

Dear Flow, 

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

We were both young when I first saw you

And I will always love you. 

I mean what would the world be without...

Someone to watch over me 

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Do you hear me? I'm talking to you.

I honestly love you

Id catch a grenade for ya,

Id take you as my Queen 

Id have it no other way.

I crave your company too much to do what I should.

Its always better when we're together

Sexy can I?

cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Im yours, 

Alex

Not a good day to ask Dad for money.....

Dear Zeek Boy,

REALLY??

Im really glad you are ok Brosef, 

Alex

Go Jason! its your birthday. hold the wine, I know your thirsty.......

Jason, 

 Based on your endless popularity evident on Facebook (so many posts...OMG) I would say that you are the biggest celebrity in Rexburg and at least the top 1000 in the USA. To be honest, I secretly hate you for your fame; I am a jealous man. However, today I realized how lucky I am to be numbered among your 1800 Facebook friends. You truly are THE MAN and I respect you so much for your example of humility to all those around you. I’m really glad that our paths crossed and blessed that we became such good friends. I agree with C.S. Lewis when he said,  "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'what! You too? I thought I was the only one." I think you and I have had a lot of these moments. Thanks for being there for me. You came at a time in my life when I was in great need of a good buddy who had such great words of wisdom. 

 

Happy Birthday, 

Alex

ne pivo.......Kofola!

Drahy Kofola,

Kdyz o tebe myslim pamatuju, Slintam!

dekuju za vsechno co nam davas!

S laskou,

Alex

Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile on old days, I was beautiful then...

Miracle Event Planning

Good times with Good buddies

Festival of Colors..... Hadi Hadi!

Kait gets married 

Surprise visit to clay on a beautiful Sunday

Tanner returns home..... Trackner reunited 

Memories with Dustin

A Healing road trip with bomb friends

Bobbie and Dave get married......beautiful!

Summer Break in Ogden: Big River, laughing with Jenn, dinners with Grandma, hangin out with Danette and some hard work.

After 2 years we finally all got together at the same place...... well almost all of us.

Good food, good people, good times.

 

Terrific ward 

Vocal union! best contract I have ever signed!

Cabo!

Dear 2010, 

Thank you for the memories, the songs I'm singing 
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing 
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty 
What would life be? 
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the the memories
For giving it to me

What a freakin good year!

Thanks,

-Alex